Baby Taco: 7 months, 3 weeks
I find myself writing less and less because things are falling more and more into place. I am almost 2 months of no smoking, I fit into my jeans for the first time in over a year, tomorrow I finally go to a mental health professional and Wednesday is my birthday. My husband and I are in a total parenting groove. We are getting along great, joking around, lots of kissing. I am working back in massage part time. My coworkers are awesome and even though my wrists hurt sometimes, I am able to have enough down time that I am ok. Other than the fact that money is tight, (which I think after kids that is always the case), my life is really starting to feel like my own.
This past weekend was the best I have felt in a long time. Right before Taco was born we bought a house. It is a bit older, in a nice kid friendly neighborhood but needs a lot of work. And with work means money. However with Taco becoming more and more mobile, it is time to really start making this house a home.
This past Friday I had my friend’s husband come and fix some things. But with that she came over with her baby and I had my other friend who is not only 33 weeks pregnant but also bring her toddler as well. Now, Taco being only 7 months can’t really get into any trouble. He rolls around in the walker and can army crawl but I can get to him before he gets himself into trouble. Well having 2 toddlers and Taco was the cutest madness you have ever seen! Taco was desperately trying to keep up with the 2 boys and the 2 boys literally ran in circles for a half hour.
It was overwhelming. My husband and I have not babyproofed anything yet so it was a constant getting up and down to make sure everyone and everything was ok. I was feeling anxious but then I watched my 2 friends and how good they are. One of their kids would fall and I would get a tight feeling in my chest and they would laugh. They were so relaxed. They said things like, “It is scary the first time they fall but they get right back up”.
They are amazing mothers. It is amazing to see their transformation from college to now. Especially since of them is my best friends little sister so seeing her grownup has been really cool. I am insanely proud of both of them and can’t wait until Taco is running around too trying to keep up.
Anyway, once my friends husband fixed some stuff, my husband came home and my other friend finished making dinner, we all sat around and had dinner. My husband was feeding Taco and my friends were all sitting and laughing I had this immense feeling of love.
This is why I wanted a house. Sure it is expensive and yes it is going to be a forever work in progress but this is why. Look at my people all sitting around the kitchen table, sharing a meal, laughing, playing with babies. Taco has such a network of people that may not be blood related but they are, no doubt, family.
I look forward to having more and more people over. To see my kid and my friends kids get older and learn. For us all one day to be in our 40’s and drink coffee while our kids get their knees dirty.
This is life. Things get hard. Money is tight. Your house gets dirty. You get sick. You get better. It keeps spinning. What is good though is the people you have. The company you keep is important. It makes you feel whole. Like small pieces of your heart being added on. I am lucky that I can have people over. That I can have people that love me and my family and then get into bed with my soulmate. Life is hard but these moments of clarity make me realize how lucky I actually am.