Baby Taco: 6 months, 2 weeks
Sorry for not writing for so long. I originally started this blog with the intention to help me with my PPD and since this week I have been feeling good, I haven’t really needed to write anything. Tomorrow marks 2 weeks of no ciggarettes or processed foods and I have so much more energy, my stomach doesn’t hurt anymore and I feel like my mood has changed as well. My husband and I are bickering less, kissing more and making a great environment for Sir Taco.
But I do have a story! It has taken me some time to process but I finally feel ready. As you know I am a massage therapist. While I love my job, I do have those days where I wish everyone could cancel and not show. This was very true last Saturday. Not only was my mom bringing my brother, but my sister was driving over as well! I was so excited that by the time I got to my last client I was just praying they would not show up.
She did of course. She even arrived 10 minutes early. I went to go pick her up and something hit me. I looked at her. Tall, pretty, long brown hair. But her voice. I knew that voice. Even when she greeted me she had the same sorta look. Like, I know you. I told her she looked familiar and she said the same thing about me.
I get her into the room, she changes and things are back to normal. I have 80 minutes to massage her. Perfect. Maybe she’s a talker and I can figure out where she’s from. Maybe from working at Universal? Did she get into an accident and was a patient at the chiropractor I worked for?
It is really easy for your mind to wander when you’re massaging someone. She’s not talking. I see that she has a tattoo with Hebrew lettering. Score! Jew card always wins. I ask about her tattoo. She’s not even Jewish, she just loves the Hebrew alphabet. It spells her name. We talk about tattoo and how badly I want one and she says to just do it. We laugh. I notice her shoulders and back are really tight. She says oh it’s probably my job.
Me – Well what do you do?
Her – Oh I’m a nurse in Orlando
Me, my heart dropping, I know her – What kind of nurse?
Her – NICU
At this point I feel my chest get heavy and a lump form in the back of my throat. I tell her that I figure out where we know eachother from. She was one of Taco’s nurses. At first she does not remember exactly who he was but when I talked about his diagnosis and all the genetic testing they wanted to do with me, she laughed and said it’s coming back to her now.
We spend the rest of the massage talking about Taco, her job and how happy she is to have met me outside of the hospital. She says after the babies leave the NICU, that’s it. Very rarely do they get updates on how they are doing and if they are ok.
After the massage I showed her a picture of what he looked like in the NICU to what he looks like now, and she cried. She was so happy to see him so healthy. She said that she never gets to see this part unless parents bring in pictures. We hugged about a hundred times, I walked her back to the waiting area and that was it. I went back to my room to clean up and she probably got dressed and continued on her day.
6 months does not feel like a long time. But seeing her, bringing up all the NICU stories and showing her pictures, feela like a lifetime ago. Taco is so different now. He gets smarter everyday. He’s constantly learning. He’s not the drugged up potato in the NICU anymore.
Thank you to the nurse I got to massage. Seeing you gave me some sort of closure. Seeing how happy you looked while looking at picturss of Taco gave me such a great feeling of relief and for that, I am forever thankful.