Baby Taco: 6 months, 1 week
One year ago my husband and I drove to the doctor. This was the first of many appointments to come. No one knew yet except our parents and a few close friends. Nothing was on social media. My belly was not big yet. My back and boobs hurt but nothing like how I was going to feel 8 months later.
We get to the office. And we sat. I don’t remember what we talked about or if we even talked. I just kept thinking, “please let there be a heartbeat, please let it be healthy”. My anxiety was through the roof. We get called back, I lower my jeans, (I will fit into them again one day!), and get the very cold gel on my tummy.
My husband and I were holding hands so tightly I remember it almost hurting. We looked at the screen and like that we saw him. We saw the quick flutter of his heart and we saw his little arm and leg nubs wiggle. I wanted to share at that screen forever. I looked at my husband in awe. He’s crying. I’m crying. There is really something in there. The only other time I felt that overwhelmed, that happy, that scared was when Taco was finally born. Seeing him for the first time on screen and in person is something you don’t forget.
It’s funny to think about this day now. When we first say this we had no idea of things to come. We were living in our apartment. Had no furniture. Our place was a mess. We didn’t know if Taco was a boy of a girl. We didn’t know that even though we did everything right, he was still going to be born early and have a rough first 2 weeks. We just saw that little blip on the screen and saw just a world of possibility.
It’s funny how it all works out. Taco is 6 months old. He’s changed quite a bit from that first ultrasound! It seems like so long ago that my husband and I went to the car after that first appointment and laughed and cried all the way home. We even passed what would be our future home!
It’s true what they say. I don’t remember life before Taco. I don’t remember life before my husband. In my mind they were always there. This past year has had so many ups and downs. It took us awhile to find our footing and get into the groove as parents. Our lives are no longer our own. When I look back at when my husband and I first started dating 8 years ago or when I see Taco’s first ultrasound, it’s hard for me to connect that they are the same person. That I am the same person. All 3 of us have gone through some major changes and will continue to go through more. I am so lucky to have my boys. It is great to go through life with your best friend and new partner in crime.