Baby Taco: 6 months
It is no secret to those around me that I smoke. What started as something to look cool in high school shot up into a full blown addiction. When I got pregnant, I immediately quit. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt my baby. However after he was born and with the stress of having a baby and working and learning how to live a new life, I found myself desperate to go outside for a few moments of peace.
About 2 months ago as I felt the soreness in my lungs I decided I was going to pick a date and stick with it. This would be the date where I not only quit smoking but I become conscious of my body all together. Not necessarily to lose weight, but to become stronger and hopefully help clear my mind of some negativity. Who am I kidding, I need to lose a bunch of weight too! I told my mom, dad, siblings, coworkers, friends and husband that June 1st was the day.
Shit. It’s June 1st. Already? That seemed so go by really fast. I woke up, fed Taco and put him back down for his morning nap. But then I found myself twitching a bit. I want to go outside. I was to smoke. But I had my husband dispose of them this morning so I don’t even know where they are!
So I cooked. I made myself a nice healthy breakfast and I did yoga. I used to love yoga. Even for a big girl I was pretty good at it. When I got pregnant though, I lost a lot of my flexibility so I became self conscious but I found a 31 day yoga challenge that I think will help me get back into things. I still want a ciggarette though. I remember when I picked up the habit and telling my people that I’m not addicted and I could quit whenenver I want. Well as I sit here feeling like I am going to jump out of my skin, I was sure wrong about that!
I’ve tried to quit smoking and get healthy more times than I can count. I let the frustrations of life or some pizza get to me and I am so far off the wagon that I don’t even see it anymore. I think the real difference this time though is having Taco. Knowing that sooner than later, he’s going to want to run and be chased and have a ton of energy. I don’t want to be stuck to the couch or needing to be away from him because I need to smoke or I am too lazy. I want to be able to keep up and to enjoy the expereinces with him. That also includes when we go to the theme parks and fitting on the rides. I heard Pandora, the new Avatar land at Animal Kingdom has a ride where you really have to suck in and it scares me. I want to be able to do everything with Taco and not be just on the sidelines. I want to share the experiences with him.
I will fall. There will be bad days. Stressfull days where all I want to do is eat and smoke. I need support. I know a lot of my friends and family read this so I’m asking for some motivation either quitting smoking or weight loss/exercise/yoga tips. You have all been there with me through so much and this will be really hard. But I need to do this I need to do it for Taco, for my husband and most importantly for myself. Happy June 1st everyone. Let’s get this shit done!