Baby Taco: 5 months, 1 week
Everyone says the same thing. I just want a healthy baby. I just want my baby to be ok. I just want them to have a normal life and bring them home to take care of them. Sometimes though it’s not that simple and you find yourself part of an elite group of parents. You have joined the NICU club. Your baby for one reason or another had a problem and needed to stay in the hospital just a little bit longer than most.
Taco was born 6 weeks early. I remember only pushing for a couple of minutes and he was out. I didn’t get that special moment where they put the baby on top of you or anything. They took him right away to clean him, get his airways secure and it was only then, I got to hold him. But only for a moment. Doctors came in quick to wisk him away. My husband and I had no idea what was happening. We thought it was pretty standard because he was born so early.
But there was nothing standard. Between his high fever, brain bleed and sezuire like activity he was much to sick to stay in the hospital we were at. Seeing all the emts around him and getting him set to go in the ambulance was heart wrenching. I just gave birth to this guy. I don’t want him sick. He had trouble breathing, trouble eating, he would shake uncontrollably. It was so scary. At one point they thought he had meningitis which if you know anything about it is fatal.
I don’t even remember this kid but at the same time, it was like yesterday. He was so small, so weak. But you know what, he’s ok now. I try not to think about it but all it takes is one thing. One story to bring you right back there.
Jimmy Kimmel who if you dont know is a host for late night who recently had a son who was sick. I posted the link to his story for your viewing pleasure. https://youtu.be/MmWWoMcGmo0
Now, I know what you’re thinking. Two totally different stories. But they really aren’t. In that moment that Kimmel found out there was something wrong, he was no longer a celebrity. He was in the NICU club. The club where you walk into the room with other sick babies and sad parents. You make small talk with them because you see them so often but the whole vibe is pretty somber. You’re not making jokes, you’re just trying to pray that something will happen to make your kid better.
I’m sorry that Kimmel had to go through this. It is not something I would wish on my worst enemy. I am thankful like Taco, his kid will be ok as well. It still does not take away that hurt. And even 5 months later, seeing that video, I feel like I was sitting right there. Looking at Taco. Not being able to touch him. Seeing his stats go up and down on the monitor. I rememeber when he was in there and my mom made us go out to grab food. My husband and I were just starting to relax when an alarm went off similar to one of Taco’s machines and we both were frantically looking around. It doesn’t go away. When you see stories like Kimmels it doesn’t go away. You’re right back there part of that club.
I was lucky. Kimmel is lucky. So many other parents are lucky. We all got to take our babies home and they are all doing great. Think about the parents who are forever in the NICU club. Who’s babies have been there for months, who’s babies never got to come home. It’s heart wrenching and I think about the other babies I met in there all the time. Some sicker than others I hope they are all home now. That they are loved and healthy.
I look at Taco now and I don’t even recognize that sick baby. Taco is so strong. So funny. He eats all the time now. Is breathing just fine. But no matter what, I can never forget where he started and for me, it’s such a sense of heart break and pride because even with all the things that happened to him, he is prefectly healthy now.