Baby Taco: 4 months
When you become a parent, you soon learn that it doesn’t matter what the baby wears as long as it’s clean. I also learned that people love buying baby clothes so your kid is pretty set for the first several months of life. You don’t get to choose the outfits but he’s a baby so you could put him in a potato sack and he would look adorable.
Taco has a couple onesies that say thing like “Ladies Man”. I have also seen onesies like, “Lock up your daughters”. Even before I got pregnant, I never saw it as anything but a onesie. Not stating anything, just clean clothes for a baby to wear. I have old people come up to me when we are out and they say, “he’s a lady killer” or, “he’s going to be a heartbreaker”. Again, I don’t see it as anything wrong. I have a cute kid, they are complementing him.
We live in an age now where people are sensitive. That having onesies that say Ladies Man is assuming that Taco will grow up to be a heterosexual. I see article’s shaming people for having gender revel parties saying not to assume their babies gender. But when it comes down to it, I have a boy. He has a penis. These are the onesies he has and of they are not covered in poop, he is going to wear them.
What many of you may not know is that I am bisexual. Yes, I married a man but that does not mean that I don’t have an attraction to women. I am also I guess what you would say a tomboy. I don’t wear dresses, I hate them actually and to get me to dress up is a lot like pulling teeth. If I could wear a suit, I would.
My parents know who I am and never tried to change me. They let me get dirty, wear baggy clothes to cover my body and let me do my thing. They never questioned when I brought a boy home or when I had sleepovers with a certain girl. They loved me for me and I never needed to come out because I never felt like I had to. I am who I am.
When my husband and I talk to Taco, we tell him stories of pretty ladies and how he’s going to get them all and we always follow up with, “or dudes, we don’t judge”. And we don’t. But the matter is, Taco can’t read. He doesn’t know he’s wearing a onesie that says he’s a hetero. He does not understand language yet so when an old lady talks to him in a soothing voice of course he will smile. Not because of what they are saying, but because of inflection. If at one point down the road he says he likes boys or doesn’t feel like he is a boy we will help him through and make sure he’s happy, supported and loved.
But for now, he’s our boy. We will put him in blue because that’s what he owns. Lots of blue. We will not go out of our way to lecture people on assuming gender because Taco at this point does not even know who he is. He has not even discovered his feet are part of his body let alone his genitals.
It’s a hard road for the trans and gay community. I can’t imagine their struggle. I have trans friends but to think I understand what they go through on a daily basis would be foolish. Even as a bi lady, I have trouble realting fully to the LGBTQ community because I married a man. However, don’t assume that my baby is anything but who he is. If the time comes where he feels differently, (and he may not, there is nothing wrong with just being a striaght male), then we will handle it. But for now, let the old ladies come and complement my kid, let him wear the onesies and let him just be a baby.