Baby Taco: 3 months, 3 weeks
You know how the old saying goes about how men can’t handle being sick and woman still continue their day? I guess when my husband and I were made, god was playing opposites. When my husband gets sick, he’s stubborn. He won’t rest, I have to force him to take meds and he will always go to work. I have to beg him to stay home and let me take care of him.
Cue in the dramatic music for me though. The world is literally crumbling. I can’t move, my body feels heavy, I am almost certainly dying. My remedy is to let me be in bed all day, drink some Gatorade, have some soup and let me be unless you are coming to give me cuddles.
Having a baby though changes that. Saturday night to Sunday I ate some bad pad thai. My husband and mom ate it too. They were fine but here I was hugging the toilet praying for death. The baby monitor starts. My husband now is left to take care of Taco. But hey, I wanted him to take care of me too! After he fed him, he wanted to go out and buy a lawn mower. Our grass had grown to an unacceptable hight and we were just waiting to get a fine, (perks of being a new homeowner).
We got into an argument. He said that Taco was fine, he was sleeping but my stomach cramps were still killing me. I could not imagine having to take care of him while my husband was out. So he waited and took Taco with him.
I could relax. I took a shower, still woozy but I did it. I plopped myself on the couch, slowly sipping my water. No cuddles, no soft words. I was sick on my own. It was a new feeling. My husband is an excellent caregiver and it was strange not having him. Evetually the boys came back. I was feeling a bit better. My stomach was empty so I said that he could mow the lawn.
So now here I am. Me and Taco. We have been here before. Taking care of him has become second nature now. My sickness left my body and I went into mommy mode. I heard the lawnmower go off and I said to myself, “I got this”. As life would have it though, while Taco and I were sittinf quietly he started pooping. Ok, I can change a poop no big deal. I rubbed his back to help him move along and then I hit something wet.
Can someone please explain to me how babies have the ability to poop up their back?! My hand hit it and my stomach churned. So now I have 2 choices, I could grab my husband who was already upset with me for being a jerk or I could suck it up and change him myself. I pick Taco up slowly to not get anymore poo on me. Lay him on the changing table where the poo had now squished even farther up his back. My gag reflex was in full effect. That’s it, I’m going to vomit on my baby.
But I don’t and the lawn looks great and Taco is clean. My head is still swimming with dehydration and dizzyness but I did it.
You don’t think about how babies will change your life when you’re sick. I was always so focused on what we were to do when Taco doesn’t feel well that I never thought about what the drill was when my husband or I got sick. My stomach is still not right this morning and instead of crying, I got up, showered and took care of Taco. I smiled and sang like there was not a war going on in my stomach and Taco was happy. There is something about him that could cure even the sickest of people. But half way through his feeding, that familiar gurgle of my stomach came creeping up again….
I will miss the days of being able to rest and be at peace when I’m sick. I will miss my husband giving me all the attention. I will miss just laying in bed all day putting myself in a Netflix and tea induced coma. It’s not my life anymore. Through the waves of nausea I have to love Taco. When I sit wanting to cry on the toilet I have to smile because I don’t want to worry him. Even now as I write this and simultaneously text my husband, I have to put on a brave face now. I can be sick but I still have responsibilities. Taco counts on me. And while I have a couple hours before he wake ups from his morning nap I can sit and cry on the toilet until he wakes up and I have to put my game face on.