Baby Taco: 3 months, 1 week
My husband and I are best friends. I know it’s disgustingly cliche to say but we are. When we were dating, we were “the” couple. Always laughing, always joking, always touching. 6 years ago today he proposed. In April, we will celebrate 5 years of marriage. We have done it all.
So when we have a fight it’s a big deal. We rarely do. Normally, we are able to joke it out and it’s fine. However, Saturday rolled around. My mom and brother came over to send us on our date. Before we left, my mom tried to cut Taco’s nails. Now, cutting baby nails are quite the challange. They wiggle and their tiny nails are hard to get a grasp on. My mom accidentally cut Tacos finger. There was blood. Not a lot, just enough to send my mom and me into hysterics.
I was already feeling down on myself because I had tried to go clothes shopping a couple hours before so with my feeling of self loathing and my baby crying because of his finger, my anxiety came to a head and there was just no way I was going out. My husband started making suggestions and I meanly shot everything down. He yelled, I yelled and he stormed away to the bedroom. I then storm away outside. I’m pissed.
I called my dad to tell him what happened and he said that I need to go back in and make up. I was still pretty upset but I sucked it up and went back in. I was getting myself worked up for round 2 but came into my husband and brother playing on the floor with Taco. Fuck. How can I stay mad?
My husband and I left the house in silence but we got in the car. And it was like we were back in college again. We talked and talked. All the stress and fear that I had been having my husband was also feeling the same. The problem was is that we deal with our problems differently. I like to shut down and he likes to fix things right away.
We came to the conclusion that the way that we deal with our problems does not apply to having a kid. I can’t shut down and he can’t always fix things as soon as they come up. Kids are not things that need to be fixed. It’s stressful and I would love to shut down but I can’t with Taco. He needs us to not walk away. We need to be there and show him that just because his parents disagree does not mean that we don’t love each other or love him any less.
What’s funny now is that we are still “the” couple. At least I still think so. We still joke, still laugh and we still have our own language. But now we laugh and joke about Taco. We are different people but to see how we have grown and how we have changed is pretty cool.
Fighting I guess is part of any relationship. You are not always going to agree with your partner. I don’t think it’s a good idea to yell, scream and throw things at each other, but to show your kids that mommy and daddy are people too may not be so bad.