Baby Taco: 3 months, 3 days
Imagine if you will, A beautiful baby boy. He smiles and coos. Fills your life with absolute joy. You wake up every morning anticipating walking to the edge of his crib to be greeted by a smile. You love your baby so much. He’s so happy!
Then lightning hits your house. The room starts to warp and shake. You run over to your baby but it’s too late. You see him change right before your eyes. That smile being replaced by pouting lips. The happy noises now screaming and crying. You swear your baby didn’t have facial hair before but has now grown evil eyebrows and a moustache gotee combo that would scare even the bravest warrior. He has changed into his alter ego: Dick Dastardly.
Now Dick, he’s still pretty cute. He’s still your kid so you still love him but wow, what a dick! He screams and crys. No amount of food, clean diapers and cuddles can stop the beast.
But wait, over by the front door, it’s a bird, it’s a plane, it’s an accountant? No! It’s Dick’s dad here to save the day! He swoops in to see the very tired and equally sad mommy. He takes Dick and tells mom to recharge with some nicotine. The hero has arrived. Lake Mary, Florida can sleep soundly another day.
Once outside though, you hear it. He’s still plotting. He’s still throwing a fit. Who will win in the battle of good and evil?! You go back inside and see your Superman is being attacked by drool, tears and possibly spit up. He’s losing the battle. Dick does his finishing move, the “slam my head down in your shoulder and cry like I’m being murdered”. It was super effective. Dad goes down. All hope seems lost.
Losing the battle, in a desperate measure, I take Dick and put him on his back. The screaming intensifies. I turn on music and start to use his hands to conduct. I play drums on his chest and I sing, loudly. Suddenly I see, the evil eyebrows disappear and a smile comes over his face. He is turning back into Taco.
After that, he falls asleep and my husband and I watch cautiously. We had won the battle, but the war has only just begun…..