Baby Taco: 3 months, 2 days
In highschool, I was voted biggest band nerd. We had moved to Florida my junior year and being in band was the one thing that kept me out of trouble, (for the most part). When I sat down and put my trumpet to my lips, it was like nothing else was happening. The school could have caught on fire and I didn’t care. When I played I was able to express my emotions in ways my other outlets couldn’t. I was good. Band gave me something to look forward too. Band is what got me into college. Without my music I was lost.
I don’t know what happened. I stopped playing after college. My husband and I moved into various apartments and I was always afraid of it being too loud. I had various mutes but without that full pressure of air, my sound suffered. I was worried about messing up. I became self conscious. I stopped.
When I was pregnant, the second I knew he could hear in there I started playing music to my belly. John Williams, Thomad Newman, James Horner, you name me a good movie score and it was more than likely played for the bump. I would sing to it everyday. The music Hamilton had just become huge and I could not get enough. When it was just me and the baby bump, I was a star!
So now we are here. Taco is at an age where he is starting to need more stimulation. We need to be entertaining. Yesterday was rough. He would not stop crying and spitting up. He would make the saddest crys. Overall it was miserable. When my husband got home I handed Taco over to him and my husband turned on Hamilton. He started singing and dancing with him and Taco could not get enough. He started at my husband with such intensity. Not smiling. Just listening. Every word, every beat, he studied my husband mouth. It was amazing to watch.
Will Taco grow up to be a band nerd? I hope so. Or will he be like his dad, a lover of just listening rather than creating? It’s hard to say. Taco right now is listening to everything. Every sound the housr makes, birds outside, other peoples voices. He hangs on to every noise now like it’s the first time hearing it, (it normally is the first time too!). His own voice is starting to develop. His little ohhs and ahhs are becoming louder, having more of a purpose.
I went into my closet last night after he had calmed down and opened my trumpet case. I had not opened it in couple years. The keys were sticky from not using it. I didn’t play. It was late. I did promise myself though that I will play again. I want to play for Taco. I want him to know how important music is to his mom. I want to let him know that music will always keep him safe, put a smile on his face, make him laugh, make him cry. I want to let him know that music is amazing and that it will always be there for him.