Baby Taco: 12 weeks, 2 days
I had a great childhood. My dad worked everyday and my mom stayed home. I had so many friends who would be forced to go to “after care”, but I got to ride the bus and come home to my mom! Once 6:00 would roll by I would run downstairs to the garage and wait. Once I heard that door open and hear the Billy Joel blaring from my dads car, I knew it was on. My dad would walk in and I would get the biggest hugs and kisses. We would walk upstairs together where he then gave my mom the biggest hugs and kisses. I grew up with 2 loving parents. There was never any fighting. My dad never yelled. My siblings and I were never spanked. It was a great life. As a kid, my mom would take me out of school just to hang out. My dad would let me go to work with him where I would learn how to fix stuff and mix paints and use tools, (I can still remeber how his old store smelled).
I had 2 loving parents that even through I was a sick kid and money was tight at some points my dad would still walk up the stairs everyday and give my mom a kiss. Even when they did have disagreements it was handled with care. My dad would always say, “I will always love your mother, I just don’t like her right now”. To me, as a kid, it always reassured me that things were ok and it was something that grownups just do.
I don’t want to get into all the things that happened from then to now as I don’t feel like it’s my story to tell but my parents are now divorced. It was finalized a week before my wedding sending my anxiety into high gear. I thought, well if they can’t stay together, who can?! 23 years old and I think out of my two younger siblings, I took them spliting the hardest.
They were still my parents though. My mom and I still talked every chance we could and my dad and I still bonded over cars, fixing things and music. The only difference was that they were not together anymore. No more just passing the phone over, I had to call them separately.
When Taco was born, I saw them again. They were together. Not in the romantic sense but together as a team. They LOVE being grandparents. My dad would pick up my mom and drive to the hospital. They would bring bagels and laugh. I knew in my brain that this is nice and it’s good that they are friends. But in my heart, I was singing Frank Sinatra and was planning my parents second wedding. Silly I know but wow, how nice would it have been for Taco to have these loving grandparents together?
Life does not work out that way though. My dad instead went back to his girlfriend and my mom is single, (if any cute guys are looking she makes a mean lasagna). My dreams for a second wedding smashed. It hurts, even with a husband and kid of my own, I still long for the days of having my dad come upstairs and kiss my mom after work.
What amazes me though and still fills my heart with the same feelings is that they make the best grandparents. My mom came over Friday night to Saturday morning. We sat and talked like normal and she helped take care of the tiny Sir. She gave me advice, I was able to vent, the husband and I were able to go out on a date! Yesterday, ( Sunday), my dad came over and we built a bookshelf. Nothing big but here I am feeling like I’m 5 passing my dad nails and screwdrivers. My parents are still my parents. My mom still can give me a shoulder and my dad can still pretend that his first child was actually a boy and have me be his helper in all things hardware.
I still have 2 loving parents. Taco still has 2 loving grandparents. Sure, they are not together and they well may never be again but they are bound for life by my siblings and I and now bound by Taco. They are both so in love with him. Yesterday my dad called me to say that he got home safetly and asked if I thought my mom was up. He called her just to say how wonderful my kid is. It almost made me cry. They may not ever like eachother again, but they will always love eachother. Also, we made a kickass bookcase.