Baby Taco: 11 weeks, 5 days
I am terrible at starting things. I am even worse at finishing things. I can’t even begin to tell you how many times I have started to diet, work out, quit smoking, school projects, you name it and I absolutely in one way or another have never finished. Hell, even with the baby coming 6 weeks early, I COULDN’T EVEN FINISH BEING PREGNANT!
For every start though, there is a finish, even if it does not feel like it. We start to eat healthy, we finish with a doughnut. It’s not how we wanted it to finish but it happened. There was an end.
Where is the finish line in motherhood? When can you give yourself the pat on the back saying, “you did it”? Is it when they move out, get married and have kids of their own? Or is it something smaller? I like to think that in the 11 weeks he’s been here, we have started about a million things, but we have also finished a million more.
He was born ✅, was in the NICU for 2 weeks ✅, he came home ✅. These are all finishes to a much bigger picture. And even then, there a even more subcategories of “finishing”. When he was born he immediately cried ✅ While in the NICU he learned how to eat and breath on his own ✅, when he got home he lost his umbilical cord/took his first bath/increased feedings/slept for 6 hours at night/smiled ✅✅✅✅✅✅. The list goes on with these small and menial starts and finishes. But they are still accomplishments. They are still something where I can look at my son and give him the proverbial pat on the back. He did it.
I’m not here to get down on myself with my lack of finishes because I have accomplished a lot too. When you bring a baby home, it’s hard just to put him down, (I still struggle). For mom’s, your finishes, your pats on the back are something as small as taking a shower, pooping with the door closed, remembering to eat. There may not be the cheers that you give to your little one, but they are accomplishments.
I started this blog with the intention to finish…whatever that means. I needed something. I have this beautiful baby and while posting on social media is an exellent outlet for frustrations and wins, I need more. I need to not forget my many starts with being a mother, being a wife, being a woman. I need to make other people smile, relate to and holy shit maybe even help people.
This will be a beautiful start.